8 Ways to Help When Loving Someone With an Addiction

Substance use disorders affect biological functioning, dominating the brain’s reward system, affecting emotional regulation, motivation, impulse control, and pleasure-seeking behaviors. The brain and body become dependent on an outside substance to create feelings of happiness and well-being—and, at advanced stages of the disease, to simply maintain the ability to function. Talk to a mental health professional to determine the best time to walk away.

• “Your endorphins start flowing, you feel really good and you’re grateful you went afterward,” she said.
• Hang out with other friends, a family member or take a walk once in a while to calm your nerves.
• I have been married to a man with addiction for 16 years.
• Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself by Candace Plattor provides a ten-step roadmap to regaining control over lives side-tracked by an addict.
• So often when you’re loving someone with an addiction, you may feel as if you have the ability to change them, or if you just keep working at it hard enough they’ll love you enough to quit using drugs.

Saying “no” is an important first step toward change — for you, as well as for the addict. Understanding why you choose to behave in unhealthy ways is the key to making a change. Become courageous enough to be willing to look at yourself. Cultivate your wisdom, so that you know the difference between what you can and can’t change, and stop trying to control or “fix” anyone other than yourself.

Myth 8: Your penis doesn’t stack up.

In many cases, substance use starts as a way of self-medicating distressing feelings brought on by conditions such as depression, anxiety, or trauma. These co-occurring disorders, as they are called, are common, and when someone with addiction suffers from depression, anxiety, or insomnia, they are much more likely to relapse. About a third of people with a diagnosable mental health condition, and about half of those with a severe mental health condition, have some form of substance use disorder, research shows us. Addiction starts with a choice—a choice to use a drug or take a drink. But that’s a choice many of us have made without becoming addicted.

Maybe if I just kept quiet they way women who’s husbands have mistresses just keep quiet n carry on..maybe things would be ok..I think some days. But I couldn’t carry on with so much betrayal when he would steal or cheat or go MIA. I didn’t realise the depths of it until after marriage..the lying, manipulation, stealing from me and cheating emotionally with other women. What I do know https://ecosoberhouse.com/ is that when he is ready to change direction, I’ll be there, with love, compassion and a fierce commitment to stand beside him in whatever way he needs to support his recovery. He will have an army of people behind him and beside him when he makes the decision, but until then, I and others who love him are powerless. I would be lying if I said that my compassion has been undying.

What If We Both Have an Addiction?

So often when you’re loving someone with an addiction, you may feel as if you have the ability to change them, or if you just keep working at it hard enough they’ll love you enough to quit using drugs. Comorbidity is the occurrence of two or more disorders or illnesses in the same person. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), the likelihood of a mental illness diagnosis doubles for individuals suffering from a substance use disorder. Your partner may be more willing to talk about their depression or anxiety with you or a professional than talk directly about their substance use.

A therapist may work with you on issues like communication and distress tolerance while offering support and validation. The therapist can train you to be more aware of the role you play in addiction and target behaviors to modify. Therapy can be individual therapy, group therapy, or a combination of both.

Myth 7: Planned sex is boring.

We hide our private lives from friends, co-workers, and even family to cover up the problems created by addiction or alcoholism. Our shame isn’t warranted; nonetheless, we feel responsible for the actions of the addict. Our self-esteem deteriorates from the addict’s lies, verbal abuse, and blame. Our sense of safety and trust erodes as our isolation and despair grow. I refer to alcoholism, but many of the feelings that partners experience are the same, regardless of the type of addiction.

A few ways to learn how to help a loved one with drug addiction includes setting firm boundaries and sticking to them. You have to outline what will happen if the person comes home intoxicated, as an example. You have to also avoid living in the fantasy world that the addict tries to create. It’s important that you don’t gloss over the problem or minimize it. You also have to make sure that you remove your own sense of fear about creating consequences for the addict. In many cases, you will also find that when you love a drug addict or alcoholic, they will try to get you to use with them as well, and you may end up doing it because you want to make them happy.

Hell, it may never get better BUT it’s worth a genuine shot. I’ve worked with plenty of addicts, but the words in this post come from loving one. I have someone in my life who has been addicted to various substances. It’s been even more heartbreaking to watch the effect on the people I love who are closer to him than I am. You might stop liking them, but you don’t stop loving them. If you’re waiting for the addict to stop the insanity – the guilt trips, the lying, the manipulation – it’s not going to happen.

It has been said that the least favorite word for an addict to hear is “No.” When addicts are not ready to change, they become master manipulators in order to keep the addiction going. Their fear of stopping is so great that they will do just about anything to keep from having to be honest loving an addict with themselves. Some of these manipulations include lying, cheating, blaming, raging and guilt-tripping others, as well as becoming depressed or developing other kinds of emotional or physical illnesses. These kinds of actions on your part will not help your loved one in the long run.